embrace with disgrace

Where shall I find serenity in the haphazard obscurity of the cold nights?
Or beneath the wrath of the scorching sunlight moving rising in and out of the shell
From the tides of the sea, or the in the pearls of the shell lying down
Looking at blazing stars or in the falling meteors like the fall, a freefall
Longing for the vigor of the shallowness I depart to the day
For the feeling inside that I fall prey, the spears were naïve but blunt
Like the falling petals so sublime like the snowfall of the November
I stumble while I dropped, like speechless I went while I spoke
More came the far it went, as was nothing to change but something
Longing for the feast of trust I flew to alien land, collapsed over
Once for once I leant for some aid, was pale as never before
The strong forms were weak for the once I was losing something
I thought but not yet was the hope I crawled inside outside
Took a breath looked around and found, fondness folding me in its grace
But was mere my reflection, was awaited for the rest, the realms of verity
Never was tested in the time of disgrace in life, but life had to stroll
A truth of verity I was about to sense and get, saw the crack of dawn
The rise and fall were all I mines, the sun pleasing away the moon
But the oscillation were only of the moon, and an eclipse just for me,
The sun played and the moon dance, but the shadow grove and spun
Was mere an embrace of disgrace that lasted for a dark short night
Charred calmness played the trick and I cricked and chooked in it
As the battle for the fly was something else, walking in the loneliness of daylight

I felt was alone but the scores of voices kept upcoming and I stood vertical
And took it right, holding my breaths I caught the coming train, rested in the domain
While the others chased their happy domain for socialization and for my realization
I had to face the tunes all on my own for once I grew pale under those eyelashes
Was going frigid over the ice cream and breeze as it was gulped in, lost the swarm
Was it nothing more than one more, a baffle of words over the steps and on wheels
The silence over the call from within to the self, and none behind the shades
The shades of colours were all fading in for the rolling the splendor,
The splendor a gem though I don’t know, but yet can’t ignore would be
The onslaught was not one but many at the ugliest moment, cornered
When a tender touch was all I looked in for, was choked for breaths
May be the disgrace and remorse was there, as imbibed not the right for the fight
The fight was never right and the new light was glowing with me charring beneath,
The ashes were building the castle of a new hope with the calculus of groupvenus….

fun and fall

The serendipity of an acquaintance to a congenital truth
A long silence of the felt feelings was engraved in to a colossal castle
Looking inside to me from others detect which never gazed at me
Judged and adjourned for a moment of long some 180days
A promise to be made against the one already made
Was not a surprise when was wasted in mere compassion scores
Some little thoughts, to steamy songs, some loud rings to slaps of tides
Rides were no more mine, I had two feet to stroll over..
Hailed as and flown in bus to wagon, R was not ours
The long genial yak to quite breeze and breezier over the ice
I froze I ran I hide but why from where to whom
Yet I did was not their for it far more than it yet it was none the less
The sheer change of high tides over the long congenial walk
The lost fragrance of the trust fading in the mist
The turbulent feeling, the cat bites to long waked nights
Reasons not me but once and all, I gasp, breaths freeze
A clout of dark clouds hover over, flitting around over the shivering foot
In cold of darkness sneaking in domain of insight I lose the site
A prize of surprise I get to see, had it to be then why it had to make fun
The fun turned funnier with the quest for visible invisibility
The thought of vary was cast off, from across the sea, but thy approved of affinity
Shuddered with the support of a cold shoulder while trying to lean over
Yet the words I chased for the reality of verity was shrugged with a haste
In such a taste of trust over trust I ran to the light of the moon
To see and feel the light amazing were the eyes I fell in again over

Abhay: belief in trust enduring one

Abhay: belief in trust enduring one

belief in trust enduring one

The tranquility was all calm for an abrupt uproar a silent rhetoric
Was not as I never knew it get shrill and weird but isn’t this way
Was mere a acquainted dot a simple existence in his simple world
More far more closer to all those in some times or many not

Pushing the high tides that came flushing from every crook
I looked at a comrade not for I knew more but knew nothing
Struggling under the streams of water looking for glare
Was looking above and the water hurried in to my eyes

All blurred sight, gasping for breath I looked again but couldn’t see
Heard something on faith and I believed the sunshine is coming
I stood, stood against the tides hoping the buff would be mine
Longed it threw it aside but the arms rose high in ache

Looked again can see the smile can feel the light over my skin
Roughly touching it the embrace lost the essence but yet was
The loud word came don’t forget I am all there for you
Caught in the moment I thought is it? The sun shining over the beach

Longed and spoke to some other tone beating the ringing tone
Was not the same a hurdle I became an obstacle for the vanity
Fair for the fare of the fun the sun saw me trembling over my feet
Then a I heard the sun said would shine but not to me

Over the belief the trust faded on the words not read not saw
But all fall was a free fall witty wish under the same foreskin it glued
The bid was not like a kid but kicked, go go was not slow but all in flow
I froze not under the sea but beneath the shine of the sun and the belief.

the dot

Where did I began from where am I going to end, seems like a dot which was spread over the moments lived in the longest self. What counts was not where I was how it was but yet what I did mostly. Being not one and lone was not one wish but mere fear of. A fear of not being the one, being a dot was left with constraints in self, beyond the desires lays one. As we move can’t see things the same as we are not the same from the self that came, to what we grew in to fault a beautiful one.
All along all the time traveling through the lone path is not one in one but many in one and yet the dot remains to be a dot a change not happening. We see many alike but what we assume once we see it from not far they are fair enough and larger than life. We fall over it and climb over it to see the unseen forgetting it all through we were yet the dot. That a debacle of pinnacle and we tend to be surpassed with mere thoughts what one becomes when one sees someone else in themselves while being their along with the unlike likes. Yet the beauty of the tides is it doesn’t let me fall on the shore hitting me hard but carry over towards the horizons of the dusk and dawns. Perplexed I drool at it being like hallow ball engulfing me in itself seems so big. But what I am for it, mere a dot unseen unnoticed more complex form of forgotten tale.
The acquaintance of the dusk and dawn let me see myself not being myself as I changed for it not for it but for myself. As what I have become was the influence of the tides sweeping me away to the most beautiful lawn of autumns and I walk over the fallen leaves crumbling them with my feet a few or more time. Forgetting the fall which might beneath them I saw in mist and snow a bud.
Closer I got to it feel the smell of it the skin I touched the soul that I felt in me while being in it with it was accord. But not for the rose many were their like me it felt nothing and something. I never knew it touched it saw it blooming and crying as the dews came up, saw it smiling it from within throwing itself to the world or me unfurling itself more and more I thought I saw it all
The more I thought the more I collapsed in the inner beauty of it surrendering to the splendor of the great endurance. But the moment I felt I am engulfed I felt it’s an entrapment the dot I was.
The petals felling to fly high and high far away from me, as me being mere an acquaintance for none other than whom. The petals I saw were not in the closet but I was thrown out of the engulfing envelope of the life around myself all of a sudden the belief of trust for being the one turned floristic an ambiguity vouched.
Far off and close I felt from within a dot being erased for not being in acts of facts or being away from it a fault of not the dot but a clout crippling in me inside and outside. The spurt of anguish is not for the belief as its hard to fall for and yet to believe but yet I freeze under the snow the air getting warm. The distance of the closet turning away to more true though a half on the complex thought of the dot. Yet the dot is yet to fall in itself the inertia is yet to shrink it in itself.

a talk

I feel like telling it to you,
for reasons you would be feeling I am being unduly rude and a burden.
But its not like that, the only thing I have esteemed throughout my
life is a family I have got as a souvenir of congenital reality. The
adobe I have built beside me hence after I don’t treat them as mere an
object of this humankind and worldly affairs, you can say he is a nerd
for this. But the bounty has been such a splendor for me that I didn’t
looked back ever or tried to rationalize it pragmatically. Friends a
too feeble word to define such relationship not for fun frolic but far
more exceeding in to realms of life like the sun coming incidentally
out every day and the stars at night saying the one would be their
tomorrow again. I never treat them like an acquaintance even for a
moment or years.

The most scaring verity is that I have been looking for stars and the
sun but the adobe is being dissolved, may be for the assault I am not
yet able to overcome. The reality where one feels even at times you
can be derailed by yourself. Hence it becomes all meaningless and mere
and obligation though at time I get loud inside and feel I might be
miniscule but not are the faces around me those am running away from.
It is far more then congenital bond but I had never intended to
express it or demean it by mere words. My feeling remains intact for
them even while I am not.

So please think what you think as these words are not justification
for being what I am or doing to my precious bounty losing them one by
one. I feel helpless when I want to speak to a few but I keep myself
away as I don’t wish to be blesses with saddle when there are
countless with a lot already. Even when I am not in touch I hope its
not getting worse.

But the one who gets stabbed but yet moving alone and getting alone
more and more. I have regrets for what I have done and no wrath for
anyone but its only me. The moment I will feel it, I will be able to
cheat myself the adobe would become worldly. But masquerading is a
thought I won’t buy, may be for a selfish desires over the existing
ambiguities one tries to find their way in more comfortable manner.