A mortuary of thought that I had lived with redefines my resilience as what I see in myself now after a couple of years it’s an aghast. Celebrating the dead virtues of the static stages, I would go deaf in such a silence of prophecy why didn’t I see it.
Amazing to see how I have inculcated the pragmatic bundle of the emotional grind “walk in and walk out” and here all inside it evolves the new origin, without any sensation but it’s like a barrage. The solitude rests in its own solace and the disparity had termed me in to an accused all through,
Though I don’t deny doing myself being blunt and to blunders that I have done. Me being myself I look back and then turn around and being a futurist I suffer then I disappear, the act is amusing me and leaves me lurching. For more is that I have become malicious or I have shown myself a path of what the fuck it is my selfish ego coming up and it’s so strong.
Not that I was a saint before but I had always given precedence to other without a second subsist of thought. But such thoughts have deserted I can see it, now as if there is an albatross flying over as I feel it had always flawed over the last half decades. The source of the acquaintance of the two poles I have felt and realised were always apart when I reflect back. And now I see myself graduated in to a pragmatic selfish guy driven by the intellectual, affluent, progressive and modern cult as they say and speak.
I would hate myself for this but would love to make a few mummies; as such aliens of people who are like me shall sleep under the pyramids of selfishness. May be such an act would curb this epidemic to spread as they show some disgust to the basic essence of the life and its virtues. Wondering is culling the only aspect left, or am just being too barbaric in my own thought but I won’t deny all of this in a literal way such things cannot be done away with.
At times while in a course of interaction with you and myself I used to have I in me and you in you. But it seems as if the crowd is getting thinner and I feel heavier under each breath I take. Loss is my entire personal one and the so intact within me. Yet the devastating curve makes me feel obscure and the intent is dyeing deep within to rely on to myself when to express to others it’s going to be huge task.
The wind has again become cold and dry as those words once heard over, I proclaim and assorted minutely in different contours for the whole but not me. Seems the blood has frozen inside to all those words of and for claimed as they were just cold and had nothing larger. Mere a few jumbling of the letter where they were arranged in a self asylum of arrays but hardly meant something apart from there collinear distance of the dots at the ends.
Like those deities whose face fair and of those that does not I have seen not behind the faces but people tend to and it’s my mistake. I shall be living with and learning. Dancing under the chants and lights when people grove around for inert belief of some existence and émigré. Else it’s no less than a mortuary of hope, belief and humanity. Disappearing is all that I have a sum of few faces already fading and the rest in the line to follow. Seems I have evolved in the process of the self excellence or rather the manner in which it improves in the whole advent of life thereafter. But tonight I would like to wish myself and other on the day of self mortuary. Just a amen to the grove of words their intent and the manner of bringing about the unsaid when it was always said.. Always just a possessive thought I lived with just second before. Thanks…..
