Not unfelt

When I think, I think I shall not because it takes too much of effort and breaths to make nonsense sensible or vice versa. Profusion aren’t merely a reflection of what I am in to and going all through in the middle of the day sometimes I roll from the hill and find the wind pushing me uphill. Tussling amongst the push and the pull the fear of the fall or the ball is not there rather I feel obscure of the fall.
At moments I feel ashamed of the inert panic on account what and who ever it shall not have an induction effect on some of the most proud gems I have on the paths of pebbles. The sparkle of which had made the path glowed
The choice which I make is not a choice I had meant but more than that. Giving away something does not mean I didn’t wished own but yes the preoccupation is something that I shall have not been entangled so much so that it could have been stagnant as it is being shown over here.

I feel I shall tell this straight, all along I was leading you on me, using you, keeping you waiting for something that wasn’t there in full not any time juggling between the now and the then, letting you get your hopes up for me as long as I wished I would be there but guess was still crawling and in the short span of time just brought grief and none. Figuring out the rest in all of the best just for the short term guest I felt and yet am feeling unrest.
During the small strides I have leaped across the roads and all the places inside out for but may be I feel at times yes I too feeble to make a choice for myself once and all, running away isnt what I have always done but even moving along with it is like running on sand the faster you want to turn it off the more you sunk in to it.
Seems a long way to go from here as well but all in one go I don’t feel to induct numbness nor do it do which I don’t but to hang it on over the cliff I would choose the full swing once again and oscillate till I till I …

“I love you. It's not a weight you must carry around. I love you. It's not a box that holds you in. I love you. It's not a standard you have to bear. I love you. It's not a sacrifice I make. I love you. It's not a pedestal you are frozen upon. I love you. It's not an expectation of perfection. I love you. It's not my life's whole purpose (or your's). I love you. It's not to make you change. I love you. It's not even to make you love me. I love you. It's as pure and simple as that.” Not mine but read something like somewhere just came in to mind like many other things …. Till now…

Some ice, dusk and dawn

The limits of the unlimited vagueness in the empty vessels of time that i feel make me numb. Looks like they all are more than a few facts which we tend to reckon on for the fib and feast of life. The more which i tend to figure out of the less I have lived in and the more I have desired out of it
Running away from I in me, I feel am I looking in for something new, or it’s just the old me in I that is coming up again posting a masquerade. Mesmerizing at how far I have come for the rest of the things was merely a moment of transition. How deeply I was engrossed in the overwhelmed moments and where was i lost under the profusion of the due.

Largely I quest for the depth of shallowness of the moments that graved the once lived and left. It meant a lot all through, as meant as worlds façades. How many times I have played the snake and ladder the moment I felt assured am just rolled down to the gushing water for a splash of verve.

But yet the zeal inside doesn’t allow me to settle down under the marine along with the mermaids of the shallowness. Else would like to drove my wings along with the ducks dancing on the waves, no matter how many times I shall be doused. But yet today I feel I don’t care anymore for something deep inside me have enslaved to exist and don’t know what is it..

Till then however the winds wish to fly me off to various horizons of life and show me some ice, grass, rainbow, some down pours dusk and dawn .. I shall be the I