To be or not to be

In a stupor where the words stabber and loose meaning, Yet thoughts keep wandering, all in the quest of cardinal existence Lucidness just overwhelms you, draining you between the two ends of being and not Questioning what the already drained hollowness Where to collect, what to lose, and what to take – hold something The existence, belief or is it simply a way of life, keep you on hold yet moves on On the sides by your side yet not yours, does it not bear existence? Is this state of civilized conditioning, where your just don’t score on wise words. Yet I do or choose to do all that a normal being or animal does, Sleeping oddly, I wake up with a sound in my heart my ears remain distantly close but feel colossal noise In this celestial periphery, I dig for the most familiar sludge under my foot Reminding thou and myself of a cuckoo, but the spring choose cold juggling on a firm pes and the indispensable carnal world of desires Abstain, restrain, and denial have all merged into one – me Opiniated reverberating above the boulevard of debauchery Amidst all of this, I ask, "Where and how do I put the right foot?" How should I tell my story without fear? Will the desire wrapped in the warmth of hope meet the angst and practical How do I get there? Where do I go to find answers to my desires, questions, and hopes? Like the dust under the rug, pages unfurred I feel I am not to be touched, not sooner, not later, nor anymore. And the flare withing yell - live and live for a glimpse? Ashes fray between the two shades, and all I do is duck in between Expression, emotions fraying all across trying to find their way, The stream knows, they will be met numbness, where I wait, where I wait