I feel like telling it to you,
for reasons you would be feeling I am being unduly rude and a burden.
But its not like that, the only thing I have esteemed throughout my
life is a family I have got as a souvenir of congenital reality. The
adobe I have built beside me hence after I don’t treat them as mere an
object of this humankind and worldly affairs, you can say he is a nerd
for this. But the bounty has been such a splendor for me that I didn’t
looked back ever or tried to rationalize it pragmatically. Friends a
too feeble word to define such relationship not for fun frolic but far
more exceeding in to realms of life like the sun coming incidentally
out every day and the stars at night saying the one would be their
tomorrow again. I never treat them like an acquaintance even for a
moment or years.
The most scaring verity is that I have been looking for stars and the
sun but the adobe is being dissolved, may be for the assault I am not
yet able to overcome. The reality where one feels even at times you
can be derailed by yourself. Hence it becomes all meaningless and mere
and obligation though at time I get loud inside and feel I might be
miniscule but not are the faces around me those am running away from.
It is far more then congenital bond but I had never intended to
express it or demean it by mere words. My feeling remains intact for
them even while I am not.
So please think what you think as these words are not justification
for being what I am or doing to my precious bounty losing them one by
one. I feel helpless when I want to speak to a few but I keep myself
away as I don’t wish to be blesses with saddle when there are
countless with a lot already. Even when I am not in touch I hope its
not getting worse.
But the one who gets stabbed but yet moving alone and getting alone
more and more. I have regrets for what I have done and no wrath for
anyone but its only me. The moment I will feel it, I will be able to
cheat myself the adobe would become worldly. But masquerading is a
thought I won’t buy, may be for a selfish desires over the existing
ambiguities one tries to find their way in more comfortable manner.
