reality

The burning feeling in my throat
The pain almost amounts to what I feel in my heart
But this time I inflicted this upon myself
Hoping at the same time I'll improve all my flaws that turned you away
from me

I look upon myself in the mirror
I still don't like what I see in front of me
I see the residue of you around my mouth
The remains of your kisses on my cheeks

I can feel your breath whispering across my face
It sourly reminds me of the harsh winter wind that struck my face the day
you left
The irritating memory of the scent of your clothes burn my nose
They sting like the fumes that float off a just stricken match

I can still feel you uncaring arms around my waist
I feel myself wrapped around your finger by your words
Bound and tied down by the deceiving lies you spoke
Paralyzed by the sweetness that captured my attention without a second
thought

I can sense your presence over me
Like a shadow that won't go away
I feel as if I have no way out
No light to guide my path

I know that this won't last forever
Just until the day that I'm ready to let you leave my mind
Obviously I'm not ready yet
For you have lingered in my thoughts ever since the day you left

I still dream of the day where I can live up to what you want me to be
The angel I never was
The angel I'm determined to be
Even though I know the day you'll want me again is just a faint hope
inflicted by my imagination

Until then
I'm going to do my best, which might even be the worst thing I could ever
do
To become what I think that I am not, what I hope that I'm not
Which is something I'll later regret